'Are we there yet?'

Pre christmas (small 'c', pagan and all that) some builders built some stuff at my work. The dust has settled now and my much reduced room to store marketing items is complete. No it isn't. This room has no outside light source, or 'windows' as they are often referred to, the glassy, Pilkington® version as opposed to the crashy unstable type that most office workers are familiar with.

Now, to make the room usable, we have lights....switched most normally by a switch. Get me? Touch. My room has two switches. One in the newly created expanse of the 'Technical, sorry, Engineering, office next door to the marketing room which shall now be referred to as Switch A, the other, in a room the other side of the new marketing room, buried on a wall between some shelves, Switch B.

On arriving by bicycle this morning, I fancied the notion of 'turning on the light' in the little room so I could see (HSE execs scribble away) WTF I was doing. Having moved the pile of obstructions immediately in front of Switch B and flicking said switch, no light was forthcoming. Cursing loudly and leading with size 9 boot I made my fumbling way through a fire door (not, as named, on fire) and shouting the odds (acutally, 'FUCKING BUILDERS, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO INSTALL A FUCKING SWITCH) I burst into the new Technical, sorry, Engineering, office.

Odd looks from the Engineering (got that right!) Director and some other employee. Other employee was on a Skype™call........

So, having shed my cycling gear, equipped myself with 'you wouldn't hit a man with glasses' glasses, I returned to aplogise. Sorry Engineering.

Then. I asked the person responsible for organising the builders just when the switch works were scheduled. The fob off ensued.
I could see that he was speaking but was very aware that the words he meant were 'Stop fucking asking shit face, they've gone. You're not going to get the poxy switch so sod off'.

Any one got a candle?

Communication breakdown

Is the title a reference to a Led Zeppelin track? Might be, might not be. The thing is, I'm trying to communicate with a person and that person is not reciprocating, what's particularly odd is that the person doesn't even know what it is I'm going to communicate. Imagine:

'Ding dong'........
'Ooh! There's someone at the door. Wonder who it is?!'

The perennial answer to that one is - bloody well answer it and find out! Basic, but effective.

Sometimes you need to speak to someone and they're in a crowded place, busy, occupied with something else or just plain not interested. Fortune smiles on you and an opportunity arises but you're not able to get the words out. Aarrrghhhhh! Frustration sets in. It should be simple but we tie ourselves up with conventions and that horrid feeling of saying the wrong thing.

So, the truth is, there's never a 'right time' to speak. Spit it out, deal with the consequences and try to be nice.

The person I'm trying to speak to won't read this (no one does...) but maybe by me typing a pile of tripe will filter into the ether and tap them on the shoulder saying 'go on, listen to him, give him a moment, it might be worth it.' They know I don't bite, threaten or otherwise make trouble so I don't know what they're not wanting to hear.

Are full page adverts in The Times or Guppy Keepers International expensive?