Now I've begun - there's no stopping me!

Mwaha ha ha. Or somesuch modern sinister laughing.

Gadzooks this computer age takes one by surprise. everything is linked to everything else! I can buy car tax online and the database knows if I have insurance and an MOT for goodness sake! Even at the MOT station I use (where customers are expected to help out to earn a cup of tea) there's a finite time allowed for the test before the computer says 'time up' in it's efficient serif font.

I'm told (by a geek) that my blogs can be linked to my Facebook page (yes, don't look surprised, old people have them too) and my twitter tweets (see, we do know what's going on!) and also can be printed onto toilet paper within an hour at any good Boots store. I mean shop.

One rather good example of technology and a competent user happened this week. Our marketing director (Initial caps to follow) wanted some ambient sound to use for a test we are running at work. Within an hour I was wandering around Dartford town centre using a video camera to record the general sounds of a busy town. Having connected the camera to my trusty G5 Mac (well, I want to do it properly) and copied the digital tape file to iMovie with one click, I extracted the sound file (ooh! one more click!) and opened it in Audacity (it's free, fantastic and only a Google away) looped it and saved it via Mac's built in bluetooth to my mobile phone. Presto! (A Rush album, no 'hey' required) job done.

Dearest Tom was in a state of wonderment - 'I've never worked anywhere before where stuff just gets done!' he exclaimed. Hey ho, credit offered, credit taken. Mind you, this exercise was the culmination of many years audio and Mac experience coming together with a desire to deliver.

It's often said that I speak and write like dear departed jolly Great Uncle (very removed) Shakespeare, well, if this is the case it's only because I have a particular penchant for the use, weaving and subsequent wearing of the words that we English hold so dear. Any resemblance of Bill Shake is merely coincidence. Look at me, well nourished, clean shaven, not a ruff in site.

'Percy, you look like you have swallowed a plate!'.